MAD FIGS Digest - Supplement #4

As you all know, today is a very special day for people all over the world. Throughout history, the 14th of February has been celebrated. Everyone knows why it is so significant - in only 16 short years, the Official MAD FIGS Reunion will take place. At first glance, February 14th may appear to be an ill omen for the MAD FIGS, since it does contain the dreaded "14". But, since there are only 12 months in the year, and February is the second month, if you do the math 12 + 2 = 14. So the date can alternatively be written as 14/14, thus cancelling all evil effects of the 14.
Now, a few unenlightened people still insist on celebrating a less important holiday on the same date, "Valentines Day". But what is Valentines Day beyond an excuse for the candy and greeting card companies to prey on innocent consumers? I say, rise up against this tyranny! Next year, instead of sending a Valentine's Day card, send a MAD FIGS DAY card! Instead of flowers or chocolate, give that someone special a regulation Ultimate Frisbee Disc instead! Both of these practices have been popularized in recent years by the great Jacob Enkins, and only by spreading this powerful and important tradition can we make the world a better place.

Scott Dogg

Note - The preceding message is in no way influenced by my persistant lack of anyone to send a Valentine to. Anyone who suggests otherwise is a liar and should go back to Canada, damn Canucks.

Further Note - "The Wedding Singer", the newest Adam Sandler movie, was released recently. I highly recommend it to the moviegoers amongst you.

Back to the MAD FIGS Digest Archive


Email the MAD FIGS