Septathalon Awards

• The MAD FIGS Dollar. Prior to the Septathalon, the MAD FIGS Dollar officially belonged to the best pole vaulter in the group. Unfortunately, after the 1997 Track season it looked like Paul would hold this honor for life. It was agreed that a new test of skill was necessary, and the Septathalon has since proven to be the perfect choice. In theory, anyone can rise up to claim this amazing prize... but in practice the task requires a superhuman devotion to all things 'FIG related.
• The "I lost to the Animal" trophy. This award was introduced as a consolation prize for the second place finisher in 2002, but since the recipient failed to bring it back in subsequent years the tradition has been lost. This is probably for the best, since if the Animal were to receive the trophy it could cause a break in the fabric of reality.
• Seventh Place - While there has never been an official award for the 7th place finisher, it is silently considered to be the next best thing to winning it all. Amazingly, no one has thus far been able to claim the honor more than once.
• The 14th Place Award - While finishing 7th is a cause for celebration, coming in 14th is a deadly curse. The reward for 14th place from 2001 onwards was supposed to be the Devil Medal (a sinister medallion discovered at Woodward Park by vinnardo), but everyone to whom it has been offered has refused to accept it. In 2005 a new tradition was established - the 14th place finisher would become responsible for the Canadian Goose decoy for the rest of the year, and would have to carry it around at the next Septathalon. In 2007, a plaque commemorating the victims was created.
• MAD FIGS CDs - In 2002, the top 7 finishers were presented with an amazing reward - a newly remastered and expanded version of the MAD FIGS tape, transferred onto state-of-the-art technology. Interestingly, Angry Bear was the only non-MAD FIGS member to receive this honor.

Back to the MAD FIGS Septathalon